Ok, so get this. Today, Dad goes down to the "male box" (I've learned that Dad's a male, but I have no idea what a "box" is) and brings back a "package" (but Mom walked in and said "what's in the box?", I'm so confused). Anyway, Dad's gets all excited and is babbling about me getting my first package in the "male" from someone named "Bruceandallisonfails" (SideNote: Bruceandallisonfails, whoever you are, do you think we could come up with a shorter name? I've already got a hard enough time learning everything — from scratch — without having to learn a 6 syllable name for everyone I meet. Your new name is Baaf.)
So anyway. Dad opens the box and pulls this out.
First of all, let me say to Baaf: "The bunny, The bunny, I love the bunny." Secondly, immediately after the unpacking, there was a crisis. No, let me be clearer: there was a MAJOR CRISIS!! It could have been prevented. Sadly, it was not. It happened like this:
This is a re-enactment and not an actual transcript. For an actual transcript, please send $300 to Actual Transcripts, 1234 Bada Bing Avenue, Walla Walla, WA OI812
Gavin: Hello little blue bunny!!
Blue bunny: ...
Gavin: I said hello, Soft Blue Traveller.
Blue bunny: ...
Gavin: (thinking) perhaps he does not speak English
Ciao, coniglietto blu...
...
Hallo, blaues Häschen...
...
Здравствулте!, голубой кролик
...
It was at this point that I noticed there were no AIR HOLES in the "box". Baaf, if you're going to send something through the "male", you're going to have think things through (Mom says this is sexist, but very true). Luckily, he was ok. We gave him some air and Dad went out and bought a stuffed carrot, and he was fine.
Still he seemed shy and bit nervous and I wanted him to feel welcome. So, I whispered a thought in Dad's ear, and well I'll just let the pictures do the talking.
Click here to see my clever idea...
So, to make a long story short (too late, I know, I know): Welcome, Blue Bunny, Soft Blue Traveller, Tamer of the "box" without Air Holes, Defeater of the "Male" (there's mom, giggling again), Temporary Obtainer of a Child's Affections, I will love you forever, or at least until I get a military action figure that shoots real missiles that EXPLODE (are we listening toy manufacturers?)
And thank you Bruceandallisonfails (what can I say, I'm a diplomat at heart) for bringing Blue Bunny into our lives.
So anyway. Dad opens the box and pulls this out.
First of all, let me say to Baaf: "The bunny, The bunny, I love the bunny." Secondly, immediately after the unpacking, there was a crisis. No, let me be clearer: there was a MAJOR CRISIS!! It could have been prevented. Sadly, it was not. It happened like this:
This is a re-enactment and not an actual transcript. For an actual transcript, please send $300 to Actual Transcripts, 1234 Bada Bing Avenue, Walla Walla, WA OI812
Gavin: Hello little blue bunny!!
Blue bunny: ...
Gavin: I said hello, Soft Blue Traveller.
Blue bunny: ...
Gavin: (thinking) perhaps he does not speak English
Ciao, coniglietto blu...
...
Hallo, blaues Häschen...
...
Здравствулте!, голубой кролик
...
It was at this point that I noticed there were no AIR HOLES in the "box". Baaf, if you're going to send something through the "male", you're going to have think things through (Mom says this is sexist, but very true). Luckily, he was ok. We gave him some air and Dad went out and bought a stuffed carrot, and he was fine.
Still he seemed shy and bit nervous and I wanted him to feel welcome. So, I whispered a thought in Dad's ear, and well I'll just let the pictures do the talking.
Click here to see my clever idea...
 |  |
So, to make a long story short (too late, I know, I know): Welcome, Blue Bunny, Soft Blue Traveller, Tamer of the "box" without Air Holes, Defeater of the "Male" (there's mom, giggling again), Temporary Obtainer of a Child's Affections, I will love you forever, or at least until I get a military action figure that shoots real missiles that EXPLODE (are we listening toy manufacturers?)
And thank you Bruceandallisonfails (what can I say, I'm a diplomat at heart) for bringing Blue Bunny into our lives.
posted by Charles Churchill at 8:43 PM
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