Press Briefing: Coup d'états and personnel conflicts

Ladies and Gentlemen of Livingroomistan. I have called this meeting to address a recent event and to dispel an outrageous rumor started by my political opponents.

When last I blogged, a coup d'état was underway, led by my sworn enemy, Giant Corner Spider.

He has been dealt with. He was knocked down from his corner and crushed by Dad. With a napkin. He was then thrown in the trash. Let this be a lesson. To the enemies of Livingroomistan, To the enemies of Freedom, To the enemies of Gavin: My Dad has many more napkins, and his trash can has room to spare.

Now, onto other things.

There have been a couple of pictures, circulating in the press, that show me and one of my Command Center advisors having a disagreement. These pictures are obvious fabrications, much like that "picture" of me in a "space suit". They are lies. I do not shake Mr. Fish by his seaweed pedestal. He has made it clear that he does not like it when I do that. I do not make faces at my Advisors. That is not respectful. Whoever created these pictures, beware. You believe you are safe. You believe you are clever. I have a napkin with your name on it.


Click here to see the photos